Your Arms are my Castle
by Holmzyj
Summary: AU/ AH. One-shot. Bella has to fight to tell edward that she loves him. Will she make it to tell him or is everything against her? *lemon*


I do not own twilight!

I wish I did!

There is mature contant in this story! please read with caution!

* * *

"Alice I can't!"

"Yes you can Bella! One more shot won't kill you!"

"Not going to happen," I smirked

"You and your stupid rules," she huffed as she downed another shot of tequila and walked towards the rest of our party on the dance floor.

My rules. Sometimes I wish I would break them, but sober Bella has broken 5 bones, had too many sprains to count; had seven concussions and five over night trips to the local hospital. So drunk Bella was not a smart option for me, instead I chose to watch over everyone and enjoy my time out with my friends. It's not like I could dance anyway, so I laughed and giggled watching my friends getting drunk and doing things that only I could have the pleasure of telling them about in the morning.

"Do you ever just let go?" A soft velvety voice came from over my shoulder. I smiled, I knew this voice. Edward. Oh god, Edward Cullen, I could feel my heart rate pick up just knowing he was this close to me.

_Flashback_

"_Bella this is my brother Edward, he's in his senior year."_

_I looked up only to find myself lost in a never ending pool of the most beautiful shade of emerald I had ever seen. _

"_Bella?" Alice waived her hand in front of my eyes effectively breaking me from my trance, "earth to Bella?"_

_I shook my head, as I felt the all too familiar blush spread from my neck up to my hair line. _

"_Uh, hi." I put my hand out between us for him to shake it. He chuckled, and the sound sent shivers down my spine, but he took my hand in his none the less. I almost dropped to my knees right then, a small shockwave rose from his hand and it travelled up my arm and all over my body. _

_I could barely hear Alice as she introduced the rest of the people at the lunch table, a big burly guy named Emmett, a gorgeous blonde named Rosalie and of course Alice's boyfriend Jasper. That was about all I could retain as I couldn't seem to remove my focus from the gorgeous man in-front of me. _

_Edward Cullen was beyond words; as if his piercing green eyes were not enough. His body was long and muscular, not quite bulky like Emmett but perfect none-the-less. His jaw line was strong and angular and it flexed amazingly with ever chew he made; and to top it all of his hair was in perfect disarray. A bronze colour that I had never seen before, in general he was beyond words and I could feel my pulse quickening just by looking at him. _

_His eyes met with mine once again, my blush doubled at being caught staring, he merely smiled a perfect crooked smile and went back to his conversation with Emmett. _

_End flashback_

I smiled and turned to face him, making sure my facial features did not give away the overpowering love I felt for this perfect man. "You know I could say the same thing about you. What is it that Emmett calls you?"

He sighed, a small smile flirting at the corner of his mouth. "That would be Dr. No Fun," he confessed.

I chuckled, "Yes, so why am I the one who needs to let go?"

"Because if you did I could take advantage of you." He joked, with a smile. The smile I had now deemed the Edward Cullen Smile, a smile that only he could make look utterly beautiful. I was thankful for the lights in the club; they hid my blush much better than being out in the open, but somehow I knew that he knew that I was blushing far redder than any other person could.

Edward and I had never been more than friends; much to my dismay. He was Alice's brother and she was my best friend, and if I was being completely honest with myself this man was so far out of my league I was lucky to even be able to talk to him and being his friend was enough for me, enough for forever. He walked by me then, not allowing me a response as he reached for my shot on the table and held it up in front of my face.

"I'll make you a deal," he said leaning his elbow on the high bar table beside us.

I raised my eyebrow up at him.

"Ill let loose if you will." He swayed the shot across my line of vision.

Immediately my lip when into my mouth; contemplating, I was twenty two and I had never broken my drinking rules. He leaned in, impossibly close and he whispered in my ear, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. "I know about your rules Bella, and don't worry; I'll protect you, even if it's from yourself."

I almost melted at the sincerity of his words; and as I parted my lips and allowed him to place the shot glass to my lower lip I smiled inwardly, I trusted him, and I would be fine, screw the rules, I had Edward, even if it was just a protector for the night. I would take that over nothing.

Several shots and a few drinks later, all six of us were sitting around the table laughing.

"Little Bella, I never thought id see the day when you would be drunk!" Emmett bellowed across the table, holding Rosalie close to his side.

"Emmett! I am not drunk" I yelled in reply, "I am merely semi-intoxicated." Alice giggled and Edward laughed as he took another swig of his beer.

The song in the bar changed to a techno song and Alice squealed. "Come on Jasper lets dance!"

Jasper smiled and got up from the table, taking Alice with him. Rosalie pouted at Emmett and they left in the same fashion.

"So, care to break another rule Miss Swan?" Ah, rule number two, no dancing, especially not while breaking rule number one. But who was I to refuse Edward Cullen? So I placed my small hand in his and let him walk me out to the dance floor.

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me  
I still feel your touch in my dreams  
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why  
Without you it's hard to survive_

Edward spun me into his body and placed my arms around his shoulders.

_Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last  
Need you by my side  
Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static  
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky  
Can't you hear my heart beat slow  
I can't let you go  
Want you in my life_

His hands slowly traced the outline of my bare arm as he made his way to my shoulders and then gently traced his strong hands down my sides to settle on my hips as he set a tempo with our bodies.

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky  
They wipe away tears that I cry  
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all  
You make me rise when I fall_

My body started to move on its own accord, not needing Edward's hands to help me keep the beat anymore. My hips swaying naturally to the song as my arms hung limply around his high shoulders.

_Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last  
Need you by my side  
Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static  
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky  
Can't you hear my heart beat slow  
I can't let you go  
Want you in my life_

I pulled myself closer to Edward allowing our bodies to become melded together. The alcohol I had consumed had certainly made me more confident and I was allowing myself to have my moment with my dream man, this one dance would last me a life time.

The final chorus repeated and Edward and I slowed our pace, our dance becoming more sensual and less related to the beat. My body was screaming in pleasure at his touch and my heart was screaming for me to just blurt out I loved him; that these amazing feelings had been set in motion the first time we touched that day in the cafeteria. But my brain overruled them both, he was my friend, he was Alice's brother, I couldn't lose that; but I could have this one dance, I would let myself have that.

The song ended, and another started; but our moment was over. I couldn't allow myself anymore, I would already be feeling a loss when I let him go, and I couldn't allow myself to get any closer; I had already told myself that being his friend was enough for forever.

My bladder gave me the excuse I needed, and I stepped away from Edwards embrace. Immediately my body screamed at the loss of contact.

"Bathroom," I muttered as I forced a smile on my face.

He smiled back, seemingly forced as well. "Ok, ill be at the table with the others." He gave my hand a squeeze and walked away as I turned to go to the bathroom.

My mind was wondering as I walked through the dark hallway towards the washroom. I shouldn't have broken my rules, I shouldn't have drank and I shouldn't have danced with him. My mind would be reeling for days, pining over something I knew I couldn't have. Damn-it!

I used the washroom quickly and fixed my flustered appearance in the mirror. "God dam-it Bella!" I swore at myself.

"Why can't you just suck it up? Either act on your feeling or let them go! He's just a guy." I laughed at my own words, Edward Cullen was not just a guy, he was perfect, he was smart, funny, talented, he was my best friend and I could tell him anything.

"Even this?" I whispered, debating myself in the mirror. "Can you tell him this?"

_Flashback_

_We were sitting on his couch watching a movie. I was in my second year at college and him in his third. I had gone to Edward for comfort after a terrible date, the guy had tried to kiss me and I pulled away, the thought of his lips on mine were…. Unappealing._

_He had gotten really made at me, called me a tease and then left me at the restaurant. I had cried all the way to Edwards, I was twenty years old and I couldn't bring myself to kiss a guy I was on a date with. _

"_God, maybe there is something wrong with me?" My head dropped into my hands as my tears dripped down my face. _

"_Bella, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you Angel," he whispers as he catches my tears with strong fingers. "You weren't ready, and he didn't respect that. There is something wrong with him. There is something wrong with any man who won't wait for you."_

"_Do you really think so? I mean I'm twenty years old and I have never even kissed a guy, maybe I never will."_

"_Bella, your first kiss should be something special, and when you have it, the person you share it with will be the luckiest guy in the world." _

_His fingers pushed my hair behind my ear and in that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him, to give him my first kiss; but instead I leaned my head on his shoulder, letting him comfort me, letting myself feel his presencein my life._

"_Hey Edward?"_

"_Hmm? When was your first kiss?"_

"_I'm still waiting, waiting for a girl to make me the luckiest guy in the world."_

_End Flashback_

My eyes widened at my reflection. Did he mean what I think he meant? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but the only thing that my mind could see was Edwards lips wrapped around my own, the feeling of our bodies pushed together, being one….

"Tell him or forget him Bella! Those are your only options!"

My hands slammed down on the bathroom counter; my decision made. I had to talk to Edward, I had to tell him, I needed to, for my own sanity. I couldn't wait any longer, and I could only hope that he would except that, embrace my feeling for him, perhaps return them. A small smile flittered at my lips as the thoughts continued to grow in my mind. Adjusting my skirt for the final time I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders to the door, I had made my decision, I was going to tell him because I couldn't forget him, my heart couldn't take this anymore.

My heart was thumping erratically as I thought about the prospect of barring my soul to him, losing him as a friend instead of gaining him as a lover; I was taking a risk and I could only hope that it would end in reward and not pain.

I reached for the door and pulled it open one thing on my mind, Edward. I turned and began my walk back down the hallway, my mind focusing on the words that I would soon say to him. My steps quickened at my thoughts, I needed to get to him now, I needed to tell him, to show him. Just as I stepped out of the hallway and into the lights of the club a hand clamped down around my mouth and pulled me back into the darkness.

At first my body was frozen in shock and I allowed the person dragging me to have full control over my direction. Soon, my legs started to kick and the hand on my mouth became slippery with my saliva as I tried to scream.

We were in the back of the hallway now, darkness surrounding us completely and I continued to flail my limbs hoping to make contact with some part of the animal holding me. In a flash my body was thrown hard against the wall, my chest heaving into the cold brick. "Shut the fuck up or so help me god I will slit your throat!" A sliver of silver caught my eye and my body tensed as I realized the man had a knife. Oh god!

So this was it, I was going to die in the back hallway of a bar after being defiled by a creep. My mind was racing, images of my parents and my friends filed through my mind as I tried to distract myself from the feel of the grimy hands all over my body. Nothing was working!

The tears were streaming down my face in steady torrents now and small sobs were racking my body as his hands slipped lower and lower. I kept searching my mind for something to keep my mind elsewhere, someway for me to be anywhere else but here in this moment.

His hand inched up the inside of my skirt as he pressed his erection against my backside. "Oh baby, I'm going to make you feel so good!" His vile words together with his terrible whiskey scented breath was all my body needed before I vomited all over the wall in front of me.

"BITCH!" he screamed as he slammed my head against the brick wall. I felt the small trickle of blood flow down my face just before I felt his fingers graze the outside of my panties. "I thought you'd be worth the wait! I've been watching you all night pretty one; now let me show you a good time."

I heard his zipper click as he lowered it; it was at that moment that I saw Edward in my mind. The only image that could truly distract me from what was about to happen. I clenched my eyes tightly as I could imagine and just focused on all the images of Edward that I could muster. My lips were trembling, whispering Edwards name over and over again as the man pushed himself closer to me as he lifted my skirt up over my hips.

"Edward, I love you, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. Edward, Edward, Edward." I whispered in a chant to myself as I felt my panties being ripped to the side. The only thing holding my body to the wall at this point was the weight of this monster; and as his tip pressed at the barrier of my sex a loud cry broke through my quiet chant "Edward!"

In an instant the weight holding me to the wall was gone, my legs were unbearably weak underneath me and my body sunk to the floor slowly. Still facing the wall I curled my legs into my chest, not caring that my skirt was wrapped around my hips, and I chanted his name over and over, its all I could do.

I could hear yelling and struggling behind me but my mind couldn't focus on anything; I was shaking as quiet sobs ripped through my body, "Edward, Edward, Edward."

"Bella? Bella Honey are you okay?" I felt Alice's tiny hand touch my shoulder and I flinched away from her contact, continuing to chant Edwards name over and over again in rushed whispers.

_Flashback_

"_Bella! Oh my god! Are you okay?"_

_I could feel the familiar burn in my knees and I worked hard not to breathe through my nose or to look down at the blood I knew was pooling now. _

"_EDWARD!!" She yelled as I sat there with my eyes closed trying to focus on something other than my legs. Stupid klutziness! Stupid rocks! Stupid driveway! Stupid shoe lace!_

_Warm hands wrapped around my shoulders and I knew at once that they were too big to be Alice's. "Bella? Bella, are you okay?"_

"_Alice, what happened?"_

"_She just tripped Edward, I tried to catch her but her knees hit the gravel hard and then she started breathing through her mouth and clamping her eyes shut."_

_I felt the strong hand caress my cheek; "Bella?"_

_Instinctively I take a breath through my nose, trying to revel in the scent that is Edward Cullen. Unfortunately for me, the scent of my blood was much stronger and my eyes automatically popped open to look into Edwards worried eyes. _

_I could feel the colour drain from my cheeks, even only with one small breath; and the world around me started to spin. The next thing I knew I was cradled in his arms as he walked me into the house barking orders to Alice about what he needed. _

_He walked into the kitchen with me and set me down on the middle island as if it were an operating table. I kept my eyes closed and my mouth shut tightly as he cleaned out my cuts and bandaged my soon to be scars. _

_Once again his warm hand found my face and I opened my eyes to stare at the never ending emerald pools that have stared in my dreams every night since I had met him. Dreams that I have had for three years._

"_Better?" He asks with concern lacing his tone. _

_I began to respond embarrassed at the hoarseness of my voice. "Much, thank you"_

"_You had me worried," he said in a whisper, his thumb caressing my cheek. _

"_Sorry," I sighed, "I fall a lot, that I can handle, but blood and I don't mix to well."_

"_Oh, Bella. Even three years of college has not made you anymore graceful. Maybe I should have bought you knees pads for our spring break trip home." he said with a large smile. "Maybe I need to stay with you more this week."_

_A look of confusion, shock and want crossed my face. What was he saying?_

"_Silly Bella," he shakes his head, "I would never let you fall," he adds in a broken whisper. My mind screamed at me again! Much like it did everytime Edward and I got to close, the moments when my heart screamed to me that I was utterly and impossibly in love with Edward Cullen. The words he spoke rang of nothing but the truth and I knew if Edward was near I would never fall. _

_He leans in slowly; his eyes locked with mine…"Bella" a small whisper….._

"_Bella! You all fixed up?" Alice chimed as she walked into the kitchen._

_End Flashback_

"Bella sweetie?" Roses voice whispers from close to Alice.

"Edward, Edward, Edward." I continue to chant in low whispers.

"He's coming angel," Alice whispers as I feel a blanket being wrapped around me.

"Edward, Edward, Edward." I chant a little louder now, my body starting to squirm under the tightly wrapped blanket.

I heard quick footsteps and then I felt my body being shifted as two strong arms envelope me and a familiar warm hand rub caressing circles on my cheek. "Sshhhh my Bella. Its fine, its fine. You're safe now. Im so sorry. So sorry." He chants as he rocks my body back and forth.

I was immersed in his scent and I did the only thing my body would let me do, I turned my head and buried my face in his chest and cried. I cried harder than I think I have ever cried before. I cried for everything that had just happened, I cried for myself, I cried for all the time I had wasted, I cried for Edward; I just cried." And he just held me, he rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth soothing me with his words and the kisses he placed on my forehead.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I tried to get away, I'm sorry." I pulled myself impossibly closer to his chest, "don't let me go, not now, not ever." I refused to think of being away from him now, not after that.

"Ssshhh, Bella. It's not your fault. You're safe; I won't let go of you, never again. I promise."

I felt my weight being shifted and my body being moved and soon I found myself pulled tighter against Edward's chest as he stood to take me away from my nightmare. I closed my eyes, and focused on his scent swirling around me. I couldn't think about what had just happened, I couldn't think about that monster; I couldn't think about the look of pity and sadness on Rose and Alice's faces, I just couldn't.

I heard a few faint mumblings of whispers and soon I felt Edward's footsteps, followed closely by a gust of fresh air and the movement of my hair in the sweet spring breeze. A door opens to my left and I feel Edwards body bend as he climbs in a vehicle with me, holding me in his lap, keeping his promise. My eyes flutter open to take in the backseat of a taxi.

"Edward, your car." I whispered, my voice cracking from the force of my previous sobs.

His hand once again finds my cheek as he sooths me. "I can't let you go right now. I just can't." He sighs, sounding pained.

Soon his strong hold and his soothing whispers become too much for me, and I find myself floating somewhere between now and unconsciousness.

I could feel my body being moved, but I wasn't ready to open my eyes; because in my unconsciousness Edward is holding me because of what happened, he's holding me because he wants to. Because he loves me as much as I love him; and if I open my eyes and let that dream slip away, I will have to face the waking nightmare that has happened to me tonight.

The sound of running water gently eases me from my unconsciousness and I feel my body being placed in a sitting position on something cold. "Bella? Love? Please open your eyes."

I allow my eyes to open, knowing that they would be seeing him, the only thing that makes me want to see again. I was in Edward's bathroom, sitting on his counter and the smell of freesias was surrounding me like a cloud of peaceful bliss.

My mind is screaming at my body to move, to so something; but I can't; and my eyes flutter closed again, searching for my unconsciousness once again. "Bella, angel, we need to clean you up. Can I help you with that?" He asks softly, his warm hand caressing my cheek for what seem like the millionth time tonight. All I can do is nod, I need the smell of the monster of my body, I need to be clean, for Edward, my Edward.

His fingers dance across my skin, very carefully lifting my shirt over my head and undoing my bra. My eyes are open now, and they are focused intently on his, never once leaving my gaze as he undresses me. I know that I should feel embarrassed but I can't feel anything, my body has shut down. Inside I am screaming at myself to speak, to move, to blink for Christ sakes, but on the outside nothing is happening, I groan internally at the lack of cooperation from my body.

Gently, as if I were made of glass he picks up my naked body and places me in the most amazingly warm bath. My muscles begin to relax instantly and I feel myself coming back, slowly making my way back to my Edward.

"Bella, my beautiful Bella," Edward sighs as he brushes the side of my face with a warm face cloth and runs more warn water over my hair, making sure to get every drop of dirt off of me, both physical and mental.

I'm not sure how long he spent being gentle with my body, cleansing me, whispering sweet nothings, but too soon I felt the water get cold and Edwards strong arms lifted me up and out of the tub, placing me upright on the large blue bathroom mat.

Gently he dried every inch of my skin and wrapped a dry towel around by shivering body. He was quiet as he lifted me up once again into his embrace and took me to his bedroom, sitting down on his bed with me still cradled in his arms. "Bella? Angel? I need you to say something. Anything, please tell me your okay."

I wasn't sure if it was the tone of his voice, the sadness that lingered in his words or just because it was him; but I said it anyway. "I love you," I whispered as I brought my hand up to caress the side of cheek.

"Bella, I…"

I shifted my hand from the side of his face to place on finger on his lips as I continued my whispered confession. "No, Edward, I need to say this." He nodded against my finger, bringing his hand up to take mine, and he intertwined our fingers.

"When I was leaving the bathroom tonight I had made a decision, a potentially life changing decision one I was unsure of to say the least." I sighed, "But then that creep grabbed me," Edward tensed, "and any unsure parts of my decision were quickly forgotten. I tried Edward, I tried so hard to focus on something, anything, to take my mind away from the thinking about his hands, his breath, his words, but no images could stop my mind from realizing what was happening to me. Not my Mom, my Dad, Alice, Rose, nothing. Until my mind thought of you."

His eyes softened and his posture changed, holding me tightly, but not out of protection anymore, something else was lingering there. "Edward since the day I met you I knew you were meant to be in my life, your smile at the lunch table made sure that I could not allow you to leave my life. But my fear of losing you as my friend has always held me back, not allowing me to change anything. I was too selfish and needed you too much to tell you the thoughts I had about you, I knew having you here, in my life, in any aspect was better than not having you at all. But Edward, I knew for sure tonight, when you were the only thing I could think about, the only thing that kept me from breaking, I have wasted to much time."

I shifted so I could place both my palms on his cheeks. "Edward Cullen, I am irrevocably in love with you. I've known for a long time. I knew that first day ours hands touched in the cafeteria, I knew the night you comforted me after that terrible date, and I knew for the day you patched up my legs when I fell in your driveway, I knew. But I kept it to myself, for too long, for the past four years, and I can't do it anymore. I don't know how you feel about me Edward, but I needed you to know, and no matter what please never leave me, even if we can only be friends I will never stop needing you."

I felt Edward's hands on my knees as he traced the scars from that day with his index finger. "Bella," he sighed; and in that sigh I felt my heart break into a million pieces. He didn't want me as I wanted him, I know that I could never regret telling him, I will never wait on anything in life ever again, it's to short; much too short.

I hadn't realized I was crying until his beautifully warm and familiar warm hand wiped away my tears. "Bella, my angel, how can you say that? How can you say that you love me? After all that has happened tonight? After all I let happen to you?"

"What? Edward you had nothing to do with what happened!" I was screaming at him now, how could he think that.

"I made you a promise Bella! I said I would protect you! And I didn't, I was weak and stupid. I let you go by yourself! How could you love me after that?" A small tear rolled down his face.

I'm not sure why, but catching his tear with my hand did not seem to be enough for me, so I leaned forward and kissed his tear, trapping it between my lips. "Edward you saved me, you always have. No one is to blame except that creep. And I will always love you, until the end of time, there will only ever be one man for me, and that is you. I will die alone, before I have anyone other than you."

Edward's soulful emerald eyes locked with mine and he tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear, "Bella, my beautiful, insane Bella. I could never let someone as beautiful, selfless, smart and clumsy ever be alone for all her life. I had made a decision tonight as well, and I was waiting for you to come back so I could tell you that my life would mean nothing unless you were a part of it, that's why I came looking for you, I had wasted four years by not telling you that I was so in love with you that I physically hurt when you were not close to me, I had to tell you. I needed you to know."

I felt the smile break across my face as I stared at Edward. He loved me! Edward Cullen loved me! Bella Swan! We had wasted four years, and I would not allow another minute to pass between us without me telling him or showing my love for him. "I love you I whispered," leaning in towards him.

"I love you," he whispered back leaning in the rest of the way and catching my lips with his. I had spent almost every night for the past four years dreaming about this moment, and yet all of my amazing fantasies paled in compression to actually having this moment with him. Our lips moved as if they had been together our entire lives, my entire body trembled and my breathing increased. This was a kiss, this was my first kiss, and Edward was wrong, because this kiss made _me_ the luckiest _girl _in the world.

He pulled away, releasing my lips, but never releasing my skin as his lips trailed a fiery path across my jaw and down o my collar bone. "I love you Edward Cullen," four years without saying that out loud, I would never stop saying it now. I snaked my hands into his messy bronze locks and pulled his mouth tighter against my collar bone as he continued his fiery torture.

His head shot up, locking gazes with me as he put both hands on the sides of my cheeks. "I love you Bella Swan, and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much. We have wasted too much time, and I will make every second of that loss up to you."

I placed my lips on his once more, but this time the kiss was more needy, still soft and passionate, but it was not our first kiss, this kiss had an undertone to it, it was taking us somewhere, and it wasn't until a small moan escaped my lips that I realized where; and so help me, I wanted it.

I unravelled my fingers from his hair and moved them to the front of my towel, attempting to take it off. His lips stilled, and his hands caught my wrists, forcing me to stop movements. "Bella, you have had one of the worst nights, if not the worst night of your life." He scolded.

"No Edward, something bad did happen to me, but even more something great happened. I need you, I need you to make me forget everything else about tonight, everything but you and me, I need you to love me."

His lips crashed back to mine and he shifted me so my body was lying on the mattress in stead of curling into his body. My pulse was shooting through my body, my breathing coming out heavier and when his tongue traced my lower lip I moaned into his mouth. His tongue gently made its way into my mouth learning every contour of my mouth, every nook and every cranny. Soon, all too soon, we had to breathe so he continued his kissing down my neck once again. When he reached the top of my towel he stopped, looking at me, silently asking my permission to remove it. I nodded, resisting the urge to scream 'YES'.

Slowly, because I needed it, he untied my towel and placed it on the floor. He sat above me for a moment just looking over my body. I knew that I should feel self conscious, that I should want to cover myself up; but Edward makes me feel so comfortable and in the wake of what happened tonight he made me feel the way Bella Swan should feel.

"Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. You truly are an angel."

He resumed his kisses, planting many more on my collar bone, lightly tracing the curve with his tongue. His kisses began to travel down the valley between my breasts; my back arching up, knowing what was going to happen next. His mouth drifted over my breast as he planted a slow kiss on my nipple, I gasped at the sensation, and instantly my body needed more.

His tongue traced lazy patterns across my hardened nipple while his hand gently rolled my other in between his soft fingers. When he sucked my nipple completely in his mouth I moaned loudly and sunk my fingers into his hair.

"So gorgeous, so perfect," he mumbled as his mouth trailed over to my other breast. "Edward" I panted, "please." It was all I could say, but he knew and soon his mouth was traveling further down stopping near my belly button to look at me, asking permission once again. "I love you" I whispered as I nodded my head.

He smiled against my belly and kisses his way down to my now pulsing core. In one swift and sensual movement his tongue darted out and entered my wet folds. My head fell back on the pillow as a loud moan escapes my lips, feeling these sensations for the first time, almost drowning in the pleasure of it, knowing that only Edward Cullen could ever make me feel this way.

When his mouth found its way to my bundle of nerves I almost lost it, moaning loudly as if to beg him for more. And as if granting my silent plea I felt a finger slip inside me, stretching me. "Oh god Edward." I rasp.

My hips lift off the bed trying to find more of his unbearable friction, it's like a drug to me, I need it, need more. As he adds a second finger I can feel the coil in my stomach getting tighter; he pumps his fingers in and out of my core. "Oh Edward, harder, ughnnn. Please"

His fingers begin pumping faster as he lick and nibbles my nub and soon I find myself screaming in ecstasy as I feel my coil break and my walls clench around his fingers. All I can do is focus on my breathing, because if I think of anything else right now, I would be sure to pass out.

"So delicious," he mumbles as he ensures that every drop of my love has been consumed. I felt the bed shift as he climbed up to my face and I can see the love pouring out of his eyes, the tears pricking my eyes.

"Edward, that was…."

He silenced me with a kiss, and I could taste myself on him. The wetness between my legs pooled again and I threw myself onto Edward, forcing him to land on his back, with me cradled in his arms. "My turn," I whispered in his ear, and it was my turn, my turn to make him feel pleasure, my turn to learn every curve of his body; my turn.

Slowly I unbuttoned his shirt, placing a small open mouthed kiss on each newly exposed piece of skin. Once the shirt was completely open I ran my fingers across his delectable abs; and I'm not sure why but I had to touch them with my lips, touch each wonderful space with my tongue. "Oh god Bella, you don't know how long I've waited for you."

I can feel my heart clench, I could say the same thing to him. "Edward, lets never keep secrets okay? Can we promise to tell each other everything?" I was whispering, but I needed to know, that we would never let anything so stupid get in the way of this love.

"I agree my love, you are my life now, I will always tell you everything."

I smiled as my hands made quick work of his jeans button; Edward lifted his hips and I pulled them and his boxers off, letting them land on the floor beside the bed. Much like he did to me, I just stared at his body or a moment, knowing that I was the first to explore this side of Edward Cullen; like he was for Bella Swan.

"Beautiful, perfect, Edward," I sighed as I lowered my mouth onto him. I ran my tongue from his base to his tip, slowly making movements with my small hands.

"Oh god Bella, only you can do this to me, only you."

Only me, only I could make him feel this way, that's the thought that was running through my mind as I parted my lips and took as much of him as I could into me. He was perfect, he tasted perfect, and it was heaven to know that I made him react this way.

I bobbed my head, setting a delicate rhythm and soon Edward's hands tangle in my hair increasing my tempo. He fees so good in my mouth; I can't help the need that washes over me and I moan onto him. He hisses and his hands release from my hair only to grip me under my shoulders and pull me up to his chest as he hungrily kisses me, his tongue immediately seeking entrance to my mouth.

"You are an amazing woman, and I love you, and I swear I will never let you go."

"I love you to Edward, so much."

Gently Edward flips us so I am underneath him and his weight is on top of me lightly, placing most of his weight on his forearms. His face was even with mine, both of us breathing heavily into each others faces.

"Are you sure Bella? Is this what you want? Even after what happened…"

"I'm sure Edward; I need this, in-spite of what happened. Please make love to me."

His breathtaking smile caused my heart to clench almost painfully and tears to form in my eyes. I truly loved this man, he was my saviour not just tonight; he was my lifetime saviour. I felt him at my entrance, and he paused once again, asking my permission, all I can do is smile like a fool and place my palm on his face, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I love you Isabella Swan," and then he pushed into me. I gasped and tears of pain trickled down my face. He stilled his movements as soon as he was sheathed in me, and he kissed away all of my tears, whispering his words of love for me.

Soon the burning was replaced by an intense tingling and my hips start to move on their own accord, begging Edward to move within me. Oh god, within me, we were one, finally I was one with Edward, the many of my dreams was now the man of my reality.

The sensations I was having from Edward pushing into me, filling me were indescribably and soon with both moan a our contact. "Oh god Edward, you make me feel so good! Oh god! Unnngh."

"Bella your so tight, and wet for me, only for me, I love you." He grunted.

"Only for you Edward, always for you!" I rasp out in between moans.

The coil in my stomach is back, but this time its bigger and I can't control the grunts coming out of m body now. "Oh god, oh god Edward, im gonna…."

"Cum for me Bella, Edward moaned and I did. I felt my walls clamp around his length and I screamed in pleasure as my juices coated him. I continued to ride out my pleasure, milking him as I felt Edward thrust hard into me two more times before he slowed emptying out his love into me, filling me even more with a part of him.

I had nothing left. I had just given this man everything, and I would find more to give him if he asked. My eyes fluttered closed as I felt him press a small kiss on my forehead before placing a tender kiss on my lips. "Sleep now my Bella, dream dreams as sweet as mine will be when I close my eyes thinking of you, of my love for you."

Scooping me up, he pulled me against his body and held me close to him, covering us in his crisp sheets. "I will never let you go", he whispers, "never will anyone ever hurt you again. I will keep this promise my Bella, my love."

"I believe you Edward, your arms are my castle, I love you" I mumble, slipping into unconsciousness.

"And I you, more than you could ever know."

And I knew in this moment that Edward Cullen and I were going to be completing parts to each other's halves. I needed him like he needed me; we had hurt each other too much by not acting on our feelings and we would never let that happen again.

Because without Edward Cullen, it's hard to survive. Without Edward Cullen I wouldn't survive.

* * *

Sigh**

I really enjoyed writing this one-shot. I think it turned out really well. What do you think? Did you like it? Would you like to haveit from Edwards POV?

If I get enough requests im sure I could sit an write that one, a little more challenging for sure, but I think I could do it!

Also I am looking for a Beta for a new story I am writing, if your interested please drop me a line!

I love reviews like Edward loves Bella!


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